What If I Don't Feel Forgiven?

“I don’t feel forgiven”. “I don’t feel like I have been given new life in Christ”. “I don’t feel like God loves me”. “I just feel like God is far away from me right now”. 

     When we talk about our faith, we often tend to talk more about ourselves than God. We talk about how we’re feeling towards God or how we’re feeling in our faith walk or how we’re feeling like God might have forgotten about us. We talk about these things and we wonder why God lets us feel this way. We demand that He would make us feel better about our faith, that He would make us feel close to Him. So we look for signs and feelings and ways to tell God is close to us and caring for us. Do these signs and feelings always appear?
     In my experience, no, they don’t. This can be extremely troubling. We may find ourselves in deep despair over our inability to feel the right way about God or keep his commandments, or in a spiritual coldness where we’re so deep in sin that we can’t feel much of anything. Satan slips deep into our conscience every chance he gets, making us doubt the grace of God. We too easily find ourselves building our confidence on the unreliable ground of our own emotions, instead of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

     God does not promise constant good feelings to us. God does not promise we will feel His presence or His love at all times. God does not promise we will always feel forgiven or loved. In fact, he promises that life will sometimes be difficult for believers: “In the world you will have tribulation.” (John 16:33b)  However, God does promise us a lot of incredible things in the Bible. Such as: 

 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. (John 3:16-17) 

 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. (Romans 8:1-3a) 

 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. (Ephesians 2:8) 

 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4) 

     Eternal life. Salvation. Freedom from sin and condemnation. Grace. Faith. Confidence that God is always with us, even in the midst of our darkness. Comfort. All of these blessings are promised in one place: God’s Word. Thanks be to God that He has given us more than we could ever imagine or deserve, through His Son’s death on the cross and His free gift of grace and faith, that we might believe His Word and be given eternal life. 

     We will feel many things in this life and many of them will be difficult. God does not turn away from us, even in our distress, but promises that His Word stands for eternity, even when we struggle in this life. His promises are forever and His grace has no end. We can be confident in these promises, even when we are not able to feel that confidence. “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” (Romans 8:26) 

     Reflect on Psalm 119, and how the psalmist contrasts his feelings of despair and sorrow (underlined) with the unchanging comfort of God’s Word and His promises. We too can run to God’s Word for assurance that we are always under God’s grace and promised His perfect salvation. The gifts of God in his Word do not depend on the strength of your feelings, on the magnitude of your repentance or on the enthusiasm of your faith. You are a poor miserable sinner who can’t do or feel anything to please God and yet He forgives you through his beautiful Word, not because of you, but because of Jesus’ blood on the cross for you. 

My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to your word! Make me understand the way of your precepts, and I will meditate on your wondrous works. My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word! Put false ways far from me and graciously teach me your law! I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart! (Psalm 119: 25, 27-29, 32)